Supporting a Loved One After a Miscarriage

If a loved one has recently suffered a miscarriage, you might be unsure how to approach it. It’s not uncommon for people to misunderstand the situation, making it difficult to provide comfort. 

With understanding and empathy, you can make life after miscarriage easier and encourage their recovery. 

At Genesis Psychiatric Solutions, board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Ifeanyi Olele delivers women’s mental health care, and he can help you navigate supporting a loved one who has suffered a grievous loss such as a miscarriage. 

Life after miscarriage 

Miscarriage is a painful and complex topic, and many people do not consider it until someone in their life experiences one. But the lack of discussion surrounding this type of loss only isolates everyone involved. 

That’s why it’s important to learn more about what women go through in the aftermath of a miscarriage and understand how to be truly supportive in their time of need.   

A miscarriage can cause feelings of shame, guilt, failure, and lack of control. When that pain is compounded by recurrent losses and ongoing fertility issues, it can become increasingly difficult to open up and talk about the process of loss and grieving a wanted pregnancy.

Supporting your loved one 

Perhaps the best thing you can do for someone who has recently miscarried is avoid making assumptions. Not all miscarriages are the same, and not everyone reacts the same way. Don’t judge anyone for not showing enough grief or emotion; their way of grieving and coping might be different. 

Avoid asking for additional information about the tragedy; if they want to share, they will. The past can be traumatic, and it takes time to come to terms with those events and discuss them. 

Instead, focus any questions around how they’re feeling now, current events in their lives, and future plans. 

Do not look for silver linings in another person’s pain. It doesn’t matter if the miscarriage occurred early in the pregnancy or did not threaten their life. Just because someone conceived once doesn’t automatically mean that future pregnancies will follow easily, so refrain from talking about their opportunity to try again. 

Look for small ways to show love and support, rather than big gestures. Bring their favorite foods, leave kind notes, and offer to help run errands and care for other children. 

Plan activities with them as you ordinarily would, and don’t walk on eggshells. Things might not go back to normal for your loved one right away, but you can comfort them with normalcy. 

Finally, you can suggest counseling, but only if they’ve mentioned it first or you know they’re open to the idea. Recommending a doctor and offering to attend their first appointment with them can encourage them to find help. 

At Genesis Psychiatric Solutions, Dr. Olele provides a safe environment to discuss miscarriages and other women’s health issues. You can reach out to the location near you, or request a consultation online. We’re located in Fairfax and Alexandria, Virginia, and Washington, DC.